Lets Chat: Never Judge a Book by it's Cover

I've been wanting to do this post for a while, but I've been a bit too scared, to be honest.

I feel very strongly about the stigma surrounding mental health, in general.
Whilst I've only recently been officially diagnosed, going through uni I knew a lot of people that suffered, and it led to me to understand the stigma around it.

This is going to a bit of a different post, serious, but like Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable, so beware.

I wanted to do a post about mental health in general, so this won't really be focusing on me, or anyone, but just how we can all help each other, because we are all fab. Honestly.


I suffer from anxiety. 
This effects my sleep, which in turn is effecting the rest of my life. All of my symptoms of me collapsing, chest tightness, breathlessness and needing the Blood Pressure monitor is all because of my anxiety. Sucks. 

But, anxiety effects everybody in different ways. As with all mental health issues.

For me, it's mice. I know it sounds so pathetic to people who don't feel the same as me. But they make me feel physically sick, they have an impending doom on my brain and even thinking of them makes me want to cry.

I know that some people when they are struggling want to crawl into bed, some people want to be kept busy, some people want to eat a lot of chocolate and some want to exercise.

Who am I to say whats right and wrong?

Yeah, I still have Easter chocolate left. Don't judge. 

If I had, broken my arm, but still wanted to go for long walks and stay active, but some people might want to slow down and risk the chance of tripping over and breaking the other arm. (Both so likely for me). No one would tell either person that they were wrong. So what is the difference??

I personally, like routine. I like being kept busy. My worst times where when I was at uni, ie to poor to go out and do anything so sat around a lot of the time avoiding Uni work (standard).

I don't let myself think about things before I agree to do them. If I had thought about things before I signed up to them, I wouldn't have done half of the amazing things I've done.
I just say YEAH, SURE. 

Of course I still get nervous and want to back out, but I have always been too scared to quit things, that's where I trip up. So many times during Uni I wanted out so bad, but I was too scared to go to my lecturer and tell him. In Greece I was fed up of the long hours and grumpy customers, but I was too stubborn to go home saying I'd failed (or just what I thought was failure, I know quitting isn't always a failure, but thats how it felt at the time). So I just keep going.

I have many people told me that I'm too confident for all of this anxiety to be going round in my mind.
Not. True.

I've always 'dared' myself to do things that made me had to be brave. Like I said before, I'm too stubborn to give up on a dare. So I did it. I'm not saying it was easy, the ride has been difficult.

I have the strongest desire to not let this rule my life. I am not anxiety, it does not rule me.

Fresh air really helps, adventure really helps, and looking back on times that I have not let it beat me give me motivation and strength for when I'm feeling it bad.

I just want people to remember that everybody is different. Everybody copes differently, everybody feels differently and everybody gets effected by different things.

But we're all very strong, if we all work together we can be the strongest we can be.

and if you ever want to chat, give me an email or a DM: melberryy@googlemail.com