How to Annoy a Londoner

Coming back to London, I learn how it makes a switch turn on in my mind. I'm normally fairly patient with strangers, I am always late because I'm so laid back and I would always choose to stand rather than climb stairs.


It makes me so stressed, like I need to constantly walk a thousand miles an hour and like every other person annoys me. So thought I'd write a wee list of how you non-londeners can annoy us folk who put up with live in the city full time. Please take this with a pinch of salt, it's meant to be a bit of a giggle. Also some things may sound excessive, again, have some lols.

1) STOP (wait a minute)
Ah we city dwellers absolutely love it when you just stop in places which make you in the way. Get to the stop of an escalator and don't know what to do? Just stop. Cross the road and want to take a selfie? STOP. It's my absolute fave when I cross a road and can't reach the safety of the other side of the pavement away from the crazy London cabby drivers because someone wants to take a selfie on the curb with Piccadilly Circus in the background. I just can't fathom how people don't think of people behind them (there is always someone behind you in Central London) when they just suddenly stop, it's my favourite as well when you can't help but walk into them and then THEY get annoyed at YOU?!

2) Stand on the left of the escalator
Oh my Bajonga. ITS NOT THAT HARD. The signs all say stand on the right so why shouldn't you stand on the left? Although to be fair it does give me some sort of weird pleasure when I'm storming up/down the escalator and I see someone stood on the left, 'EXCCCUUUUUSEEEEE ME' and they get out my way. It's because I'm basically the Queen isn't it? But yeah, saw two people stood on the left the other day laughing about how about 1000 people at rush hour were snaking round them and walking on the right (because Londoners NEVER wait). Mate, it's not funny.

3) Take up the whole of the path/walkway/corridor/racetrack
I met up with the lovely Sarah last week and we were walking around the beautiful Hyde Park looking for the perfect spot for Bloggers Picnic in the Park (there's still time to get yaself there, check out HERE) and this was one thing that really got in our grill. When walking round a park with people it's totally natural to want to walk alongside your buddies and talk about that guy you're talking to or that stupid thing you said when you were drunk last Tuesday. But sometimes other people need to pass, and as much as I love forcing my way through your conversation I'm sure you don't. So just let other people pass yeah? Especially if you're moving at one mile an hour...

(photo from Devil Wears Prada obviously...)

4) Move at approximately 1 mile an hour
THIS IS SO ANNOYING. London is a fast city. I am normally late. Everyone who relies on public transport is also normally late, because, well, we use public transport. So we absolutely love it when you meander along the middle of the road at a speed that's probably slower than a snail and seem unable to let us pass you. WARNING: You will get me sighing in your ear and eventually shouting excuuuuuuuuse me!!!!! at you. I actually touched on my guest post on the wonderful Gwennans blog, which you can see about hereee.

5) Don't know where you're going
Again, this one sounds a bit harsh, hear me out and take it with a pinch of salt. I know we all start as a tourist. Man, I started as a London tourist in the busiest time of the Olympics so I do feel your pain. But I'm sure that when I didn't know where I was going I didn't stand in the middle of the Tube platform as everyone tries to rush off and look at my map which is bigger than me. Just move to the side and sort ya self out, yeah? I tried to go for a cheeky McDonalds during my lunch the other day (A mistake in itself, trying to get a plain cheeseburger at Picadilly Circus during lunchtime was so stressful) and I was trying to get out of the building and some family stop on the steps to check their map, LET ME OUT PLZ. 

So let this be a lesson to all you London visitors, we're easily annoyed!


  1. This was quite an entertaining post to read! I'll make sure I don't do any of these things when I visit London! x

  2. This made me laugh so much - so true! My patience levels has decreased massively since moving to London.


  3. Hahhahahaa I laughes my ass off with this! I can totally relate, I'm currently living in Manchester and I feel like I'm always in a hurry so there's always people in my way! The stopping thing, why do people do that??? :D

    Love, Charline | Charline Has a Blog